Well, here in this part of Pennsyltucky we have our own groundhog, and he ain't NOTHIN' like the pampered pet out west. Let me introduce you to Punks, the scrawny fool!
And you ask, "So what's he say?" Boy...plenty!
"Are you people DAFT or something? There's ice out there!"
"Really hate to disappoint youn'se, but you've got 6 weeks of winter, no matter WHAT you know who sez! Don't expect me to lie just to make you feel good! Mother Nature doesn't speed up just to bring Spring early. So you can kiss my furry tail!
"And none of this "I'm disappointed" stuff either! Expecting a big fat groundhog. I haven't had a bite to eat in weeks! And I don't smell none too good either. You try hibernatin' sometime! "So quit trying to get me to look for no darn shadow. If anything, I'll be looking for some GRUB. So now, if you don't mind..."
And he dives back into his burrow, leaving us cold and feeling silly up there on Lebkickler Hill.
"Bunch of yay-hoos..."